Name: MISS X
Dress Size: 14
Reason For Shoot:
A WEDDING GIFT FOR MY HUSBAND
Miss X has asked us to keep her identitiy secret because of her job and as her story is so personal. We have therefore cropped some of her images to keep them anonymous.
"First and foremost this was a wedding gift for my husband. However, there was also an ulterior motive. I've struggled with depression and eating disorders for 15 years and he has helped me enormously and I'm now well on the road to recovery. I am, however, about 4 stone heavier than when I was at my poorliest and struggle to find anything about myself attractive. A friend suggested that the shoot may help me see myself in a different light and help me to understand what he sees in me.
In the days before the shoot I have never been so scared about anything in my life - ever! I've always struggled to let anyone see my body, let alone complete strangers. I thought maybe they would tell me I was too fat or laugh at me. I also have numerous scars from where I used to self harm and I knew they'd be obvious. I was concerned about how they'd react when they saw them as peoples reactions can vary hugely. I thought that maybe they'd ruin the pictures but didn't want to have a huge amount of airbrushing.
Leigh and Zena could not have been kinder or more understanding. Leigh took the photos in such a way that there was no sign of my scars without any airbrushing. I felt completely at ease. It was all so much easier! I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make the right facial expressions but it was so straightforward. They told me exactly what to do with my face, hands, feet, everything. I think, deep down, I'd hoped I might be able to "go all the way" but struggled to see how. Before I knew it I was completely naked and completely relaxed.
Being able to see the photographs as the shoot progressed made a huge difference - I could see from the start that I didn't look like an idiot! I felt like I could fly! I was so proud of myself. Even though I booked the shoot about 6 months beforehand, I never imagined I'd have the guts to go through with it. Not only had I done it, I didn't look too bad either! I was absolutely buzzing! I wanted to tell the world - including my husband, but had to wait 2 whole months before the wedding!
I showed my two best friends. They are fully aware of my past and know the demons in my closet. They were astounded that I'd had the courage to do it. They also couldn't believe it was me in the photos! I gave the album to my husband on our wedding night. I can't type what his initial words were but it was followed by "is that really you?!".
My advice to anyone who is thinking about doing a shoot is Do It!! And enjoy every single minute. Leigh and Zena are so kind and patient, and the whole experience was so much fun. I'd do it all again tomorrow if I could."